~ UnDeR mY sKiN ~

to wax or not to wax... that is the question... www.mystiqc.blogspot.com

: : enuf : :

god i'm so fucking pissed off! bloody old man. picks on us just cuz he can just cuz he's having his period cuz things are not going well for him on the business front. i'm not gonna curse him or anything like that cuz i dun need to cuz he will get his just deserts in hell.

he sure is making my life as miserable as he can right now. honestly, that's the last thing i need at this point of time. i dun need this shit.

i almost cracked in that room just now. felt like the stinking walls of his office was closing in on me. i was so fucking frustrated that my eyes watered. he near brought me to tears. but i fought them back.

i will not give him the satisfaction of knowing that he managed to irritate the shit out of me.

such a wily old fox, he is. he even asked me in a faked kindly grandfatherly tone "is there anything that's troubling u that u want to talk about?"

i'd be goddamned if i had any intention of saying anything to him. i'd neva say anything to him even if it were work related. it's not as if he really cares. as if i didn't noe he loves playing mind games with his staff to keep them under his thumb. well he can kiss my pretty ass goodbye.

i've wasted enuf time here. much as i love the job i'm doing - i really dun need this shit from asses like him and his ugly stupid daughter. i've more than had it up to here.

all i have to do now is think of how to leave amicably. i have to play their game or life will be worst than hell in my remaining days here.

posted by: livingde8ddoll at June 30, 2005 09:53 | link | comments (4) |

: : Abrupt ends : :

things in life are really often so unpredictable...

abrupt end #1:
this is the happy one. Shrub's got a new dream job! someone she used to work with from another company has head-hunted her and roped her in. lucky bitch! i told her she must come do joint marketing with my company too so that her boss will head-hunt me too and rope me in so that i can leave this godforsaken place heehee!!

abrupt end #2:
this is the sad one. Our all time fav haunt... the one we've been dead loyal to... the one we go to hang out and party every weekend (if not every nite hehe)... the one club we go to be groupies to our fav local band... after over 2 yrs of drunken glory, it's finally coming to an end.

tomoro will be Chinabar's last nite. the club's been bought over by a fren, the band leader - so, hehe, at least that'll mean we'll still have our own couch area when the new club reopens :D the new club promises a total revamp and more genres of music... i'm excited for him, but at the same time, us members and sistas have had so many wonderfully happy drunken nites there with the band... we love the music and the cosy setting and really wouldn't want anything to change. it really is quite heartbreaking. boo.

i can't really convince myself to welcome the change but as with so many other things in life, this is beyond me. i didn't even feel half as sad when i gave up my pub. i've had many more crazy times with my sistas and members at the club.

i'll be going down tonite. on it's second last nite. there will be lots of reminiscing. of cuz we wouldn't cry or anything, but there will be a heavy feeling in our hearts.

i might go down for its closing tomoro, to say goodbye... i dunno yet. but i wish the last nite was on fri - den, we ALL would go down, get wasted and have one last swell party, oh and of cuz break a few more tables to kick start the reno hah! Fren said to bring along a sledgehammer so we can thrash things up on the last nite!

i'm reaaaalllllyyyyyyy gonna miss our fav couch... all those times when we were frigging wasted and jumping around on the tables, on the couches, boogeying on the bartop, playacting like fanatic groupies, the occasional going up the stage to jam with the band or dance or sing... 9 bottles of Jack in a nite... we grew up with the club, progressing from coke to ginger ale to soda... and den there's the crispy chicken wings and ikan billies... we've all celebrated many birthdays, promotions, stag parties, hen parties, breakups and makeups... all those fond memories i will tuck away in my head. those were some of the best parties we regularly had. Rockers rock on!!

well, while the club's undergoing it's facelift, we'll just have to find a new haunt to party won't we? ;)

posted by: darkscarlette at June 29, 2005 09:03 | link | comments (3) |

: : hum drum : :

i wonder if there's such a thing like a somewhat collective period of dark days that happen to different pple at just about the same time. like, when i'm stressed out and swamped with work, so is hubby and the members and so is couzzie and so is baba. only shrub's not swamped with anything cuz she's been busy watching her bum spread for around 2 mths now. sheesh what a life! i like. it's what i look forward to everyday... hmmm...

well it can't always be this bad - the law of averages forbids it. there's gotta be a light at the end of the tunnel... somewhere...

i envy shrub for having gotten a nice fat paypacket of bonuses that enabled her to have the means to quit and watch her bum spread. i envy milktea for the decision to finally call it quits and den go do her own thing for a while. i wish i had the means to do the same cuz i need to.

this place is really unhealthy for the soul. there's so much rot in the souls of these hypocrites who superficially claim themselves such wonderful christians and do oh-so-much 'charity' work in the name of the religion. i wonder what lame excuses they feed themselves to justify their evil actions so that they can pacify their rotten souls enuf to get their good night's sleep every night. 

if prayer is food for the soul, then these hypocrites sure have enuf worms to feed on the rot in their souls.

posted by: livingde8ddoll at June 28, 2005 10:30 | link | comments (2) |

: 'It's not who u are underneath - it's what u do that defines u' :

I've neva been a batman movie fan primarily bcuz all the previous batman movies SUCKED. big time. they were either boring, or provided little b-grade fantasy entertainment.

 

not THIS batman. this batman is the real Dark Knight. trained in the silent deadly arts of the League of Shadows. a tad whimsical (like... who the hell would trade off all the riches he has just to prove to himself what it's like to live in poverty and desperation) but nonetheless, frigging cool. hell, he even growls in his throat when he speaks. so fierce. so extra. but i like.

 

i just lurve that black material his batman cape's made of... all soft and flowy one moment - and then it goes all rigid when infused with static ions or some scientific shit like that. so that it creates the effect of bat wings when he jumps off a building and glides thru the air. this fucker almost had me believing he can frigging FLY. i like.

 

and den of cuz, i especially like his calling card - the bat-shaped shurikens he so painstakingly carves out of metal. WOW they're wicked! i like.

 

this batman has a Batmobile that's a frigging tank instead of some sleek futuristic looking vehicle. this tanker of a Batmobile can crush all the cars lying in its way and can crash thru cement walls. WOW. i like monster trucks. so i like.

 

this batman has got ultra-sensory gadgets tagged inside the pointy ears of his batman helmet, all the better for him to eavesdrop on faraway conversations of his enemies. i like.

 

this batman has a brain. he's sometimes in conflict with himself. he has compassion. he wears a mask. his face is his mask.  this batman has issues. he's so human. most importantly, THIS batman movie didn't turn out to be some romantic soap opera like Spiderman 2 was. thank frigging god.

 

i like THIS batman. i can't wait for the next episode when he meets The Joker.

posted by: livingde8ddoll at June 27, 2005 11:06 | link | comments (5) |

: : miserably sober : :

this is the first sat in a looooooong time that i've managed to come to work without a hangover.

yar i didn't go out to party last nite. wat a bummer.

i dunno why but i just didn't feel like it. what i wanted to do, really, was to crawl into a hole and curl up. i felt miserable and i didn't feel like being around happy drunk pple despite that i'm always one of em hah. i didn't feel like talking to anyone. not becuz i dun want to... but becuz i dunno how to. i think.

it feels awful cuz it's all being bottled up inside and i'm left to battle my thots alone in my head.

i'm not this way inherently. i'm mostly an open book to the pple close to me. 

but these days... i'm scared to speak. i'm scared to say anything real for fear of the repercussions.

i noe i'm loved and adored in more ways than one... but i feel so alone.

i've neva seriously comtemplated going away, to get away from my life as it is. these days, i find myself really warming up to the idea. liking it. seriously thinking bout it.

what's the difference between being alone in a sea of strangers or being alone in a sea of familiar faces?

strangers would neva noe the emotional baggage that i carry. they'd neva noe bout the rut i'm stuck in. the helplessness i feel at the way things are beyond my control.

i've neva felt more alone than now. it's been a while now. quite a while now.

i just let out some of it to shrub. and i feel beta. not so alone anymore :) I think i'm ready for my drink tonite.

posted by: darkscarlette at June 25, 2005 11:30 | link | comments (2) |

: : P is for Pus & Pain : :

a very bad infection has left a dimple in my chin.

it started with an insect bite (doc's assumption) which somehow got infected so badly it went past the cellulitis stage to blossom into a frigging abscess (ie: A collection of pus formed by tissue destruction in an inflamed area of a localized infection, or a cavity that is formed by liquefactive necrosis within solid tissue).

the infection gave me a hot, swollen throat as well as a fever. apparently, it also affected my nerves so badly that i could barely move my right eye without it hurting like hell - it felt like i was having a painful eye migraine, like my eye was gonna burst anytime and i had to hold my eye like, almost all the time. i thot that flying on that plane would increase the pressure behind my eye and make it burst or something.

thankfully, that didn't happen.

tylenol was my best fren during my trip to bangkok. 

imagine my disgust when i removed the plaster and discovered the abscess had turned into a fucking gaping bloody pus-sy crater filled with a green gooey piece of rotted flesh. shrub steeled herself and looked, den winced in disgust and turned away... den kaypo die die look somemore even though it turned her stomach.

grosse stuff can be so intriguing sometimes hah.

getting all that gooey green dead flesh out meant that a frigging deep, wide gaping bloody crater was left. amidst more blood and pus, the surrounding flesh rushed to regrow and fill up that hole.

it's not fully healed yet... but i can oredi see that i've earned meself an ugly looking dimple thing in my chin. at least if it were right in the middle of my chin, i could pass it off as a handsome cleft chin - but no such luck. damn.

posted by: darkscarlette at June 24, 2005 16:22 | link | comments (2) |

: : hairclap's booday : :

Hairclap's booday get-together was wicked! we played the stupidest games possible - u'd be surprised how cards can be stuck to your forehead with the might of nothing but the facial oil on ur face! LOL I love these guys... my sistas are the funnest peeps to hang out with ;)

couz made a complete drunk fool of herself. again. shrub and me were like exchanging looks... so embarrassed for her. i dunno what the hell she sees in that jerk apart from the fact that he is supposedly (to her anyway) very goodlooking. she lives by this principle - so long as the guy is goodlooking, it doesn't matter if he's a jerk... i'll willingly take all his crap just to be his arm candy.

nways, wateva. we had fun but one by fun, the sistas started knocking out like dead flies. must've been those glasses of vile green concoctions shrub and i made. yuk. i was the last man standing - until i unglamourously knocked out dead on the couch. frigging unglamourously in full view for the world to see. damn. she me yi tai dou mei you le... and for the umpteenth time too hah! at least couzzie's unglamourous moments were all hidden from prying eyes - her unglamourous hugging of the toilet bowl and bawling her eyes out, and den later her flopping unglamourously on the couch bed. it all took place in the privacy of the bedroom. lucky bitch.

posted by: darkscarlette at June 14, 2005 16:27 | link | comments (2) |

: : what's these thingies on my arms... : :

i was hoping to get a week's worth of home quarantine for showing the early symptoms of hand, foot and mouth disease (i came into contact with a little nephew who got it) but no such luck...

i can't seem to stop scratching all the skin off my arms and legs cuz it feels like i've gotten some sort of tiny rash that causes angry little red bumps.

i must have an allergy to something...

and oh i noe what.

MEN.

posted by: livingde8ddoll at June 11, 2005 12:09 | link | comments (2) |

: : i just wanna say that... : :

the look on old fart's face was priceless when i stepped into the boardroom for a meeting with him and 2 other stiff-suited directors, wearing mah funky patchy holey 80s rocker jeans oooh yeah!!

 

c'mon it's FRIDAY so bite me. I DUN KEH!

posted by: darkscarlette at June 10, 2005 17:25 | link | comments |

: : all i wanna do is have some fun : :

today i plunged into angry depression. i got mad with myself and thot i was the greatest fuckup on earth. i am quite done letting fly my anger at myself (for now i think... i'm always gonna get these bouts intermittently from now on since well, i think i excel at fucking my life up) and all that's left to be done now is go get drunk tonite.

i'm working tomoro.

like i'm gonna give a shit.

shrub's not drinking tonite and i ain't in no mood to ask any of the other sistas to join me so there. i'll just bottoms up with whoeva's at the table tonite.

i dun keh.

what i need now is a good dose of getting wasted. i've been sober too fucking long.

posted by: darkscarlette at June 10, 2005 16:58 | link | comments |