~ UnDeR mY sKiN ~

to wax or not to wax... that is the question... www.mystiqc.blogspot.com

: : growing pains : :

when i was 15, i used to do some pretty naughty things. i wore short skirts all the time (i was much much slimmer then as a teen) and lurved to go out and party in a svelt unbuttoned jacket worn over my trendy black Guess brasserie. i thot it was perfectly alright to go out displaying my lovely undergarments cuz that's what all the Guess models in the Guess ads did all the time and they looked cool so i wanted to look cool too. besides, i was in an all-girls school and knew nuts about the dangers that lurked in the minds of the opposite sex. everyone in school wore shorts under their skirts and cared nothing bout crossing their legs like a lady - like, we all had the same stuff so underwear colour generally did not stir the interest of any of us. i neva knew that guys could get so excited just by catching a glimpse of the colour of ur panty if u wore a short skirt and wasn't careful while going up the stairs. allo, it's just UNDERWEAR for godsake. what's the big deal rite?

once, i changed my top in the back of a taxi. of cuz i took care to crouch low behind the taxi driver's seat (so that he or any motorists passing by wouldn't get a free show) but thru it all, my gurlfren was hypervantilating and i again, just couldn't see the big deal.

i climbed out of my bedroom window almost every nite just so i could sneak out and play with my equally stupid frens. i got drunk in the middle of the day once (it was like frigging 3pm after school) and kissed my gurlfren, tongue and all, just cuz it felt good and my eyes were closed and i forgot that she was my gurlfren.

i got drunk in the bloody AFTERNOON again with my group of gurlfrens and said gurlfren who kissed me the previous time, attempted to go jump off the parapet cuz she wanted to fly (and no it wasn't cuz she kissed me, i'm sure she enjoyed that kiss every bit as much as i did cuz i was the one who broke it off). it was a good thing she didn't cuz the neighbours saw and intervened.

2 of my gurlfrens went on dolls while we were out in the park once, and this time, i was hyperventilating cuz i'd to take care of the 2 of em behaving like idiots in public, all the while worrying that a policeman might stop by (drugs are VERY VERY punishable by law in this country and we were severely underaged by all counts).

afterwards, another gurlfren did some dolls with this guy and she ended up pregnant. she then married another guy who loved her so much he didn't mind not being the real father of her baby. she dropped out of school to become a mummy. today, she is prob more successful than any of us in that clique (i heard she's reached the million dollar round table in insurance). last i heard, she's divorced her first husband but that's another story for another time.

while i was still studying in my ridiculously strict all-girls school (eg. height of ur plain white socks cannot be higher than 2 fingers length above the ankles / ponytail cannot be tied higher than ear level / the hemline of all skirts must not be above more than 2 fingers measures from above the back of the knee / no wearing of black bras under the school uniform etc etc ), i dyed my hair a coppery red (yuk, i noe - but it looked good to me then). in those days, that was unheard of in my all-nerds school. my discipline teacher blasted me becuz "chinese should have black hair but why is ur hair THIS colour?!?" I told her that i'd accidentally shampooed my hair with a label-less bottle in the bathroom, mistaking it for shampoo, but turned out it was bleach and so it turned my hair that colour.

for that, i was given 3 demerit points (20 demerit points accumulated in a year and u'll be kicked out of that oh-so-prestigious all-nerds school) and put on a week's detention. i only chalked up bout 30 odd demerit points that year but i think i made history nontheless - it was the highest number of points ever acumulated! yay i win!

as was the rule, the school board wanted me OUT OUT OUT before i led any more of their nerdy sheep astray. but my fans loved me (apparently there was some we-love-darkscarlette-fan-club going on and i received quite a bit of anonymous fan mail and love letters but none ever came up and spoke to me face to face. what a pity, i could've signed her an autograph and made her rich). without me, they would have no one to entertain them during morning assemblys with public apologies (again i set 2 other milestones here - first to make a public apology to the school board and first and only to do more than one public apology speech hehe) and lunch time / after school girl fights and such. so the nerdos petitioned - they frigging petitioned en masse to the school board for me to stay on. guess what? i did. and it was to be the principal's worst decision ever as the teachers weathered yet another year of nonsense from me and my cronies. what happy memories! one of these days i think i shall go back there and pay a visit to my stuffy old teachers. my disciplinary mistress especially. i believe she'll be thrilled to see me again after so many years.

posted by: livingde8ddoll at July 26, 2005 15:22 | link | comments (1) |

: : more frenster creeps : :

Date:	Saturday, July 23, 2005 2:22:00 PM
Subject:	hi
Message:	hi..., how ru..?? how is the LiFe..?? i think you're gorgeous... By the way, i am karan from singapore, 33yrs handSome Guy with dark Skin, OfCourse humorous & Sexy too..! If ur interested, reply me... till then....

------------------------------------------

Wassssupp with the 'handsome guy & dark skin... humourous & sexy' part?!?!? ahahhahahah damn GROSSE. it's been a while since i bothered to post anything from those idiots who use Frenster to 'make fren' with girls. but i'm bored out of my brains today and here's the result. i usually ignore these idiots but decided to check out this fella's profile today:

Gender: Male
Interested in Meeting People for:
Relationship Women, Dating Women, Friends, Activity Partners
Status: Married
Age: 33
Zodiac Sign: Virgo
Location: Singapore

Scumbag. nuf said.

posted by: darkscarlette at July 25, 2005 11:05 | link | comments (3) |

: : music to my ears : :

i can't believe the Backstreet Boys are back. what were they thinking??? they oughta call themselves the Backside Boys. really.

on another note, there this couple of guys who're trying to break into the market called 'Side B'. they are freaking ugs. and fair. and kinda flabby. "we want to do hip hop with the KOREAN language, the KOREAN taste, the KOREAN culture, the KOREAN blah blah blah..."

so my question is... why the fark are u guys pretending to be blacks, wearing the doo-rag and the bling blings and doing all those retarded looking finger actions when u speak in ur broken engrish??? bleargh "K-Hiphop" my sweet ass.

The Afters. upcoming band. first single: Beautiful Love. they're gonna be hot stuff. i just NOE it.

Eisley sucks. Big time. they look so amateur! i've seen beta girl bands. this is one band that's goin down man.

i lurve Keane. i love Missy Higgins. She's so real and talented. and Lucy Vegas (whoever she is *shrug* just saw her on MTV handpicked but have neva heard of her before) has the same taste in music as i do - her top 5 hand-picked mtvs went like had pple like Keane (This Is The Last Time), Babyface & Stevie Wonder (How Come, How Long), 50 Cent (I'll take u to the candy shop, i'll let u lick the lollypop *LOL) etc. so i think she's cool. cuz she likes what i  like. so i like her oredi. even if her songs suck. heh.

Green Day has won my respect with their American Idiot album. they've got depth. they've got soul. there's meaning in the lyrics of the songs they write. i'm proud of my band for being able to play Boulevard of Broken Dreams. it's one of my most fav songs to jam. speaking of which... i hope the 'relief stand-ins' did a good enuf job when they performed during the last Happy Hour. i really wouldn't noe.

posted by: livingde8ddoll at July 24, 2005 16:47 | link | comments |

: : an urgent man is an angrrrry man : :

oh boy i got quite wasted last nite! yay! but not to the point of being in auto-function mode, and the only blank i have is when i fell asleep in the car on the way home and dat doesn't count!

the nite started off rather bleakly - first off, we kinda had no option but to party at this new club cuz our all time fav band was doing a guest performance there. we'd been there before to check out the place and didn't like it one bit. the decor was nice and everything but the crowd was really sucky. we kinda felt disgusted to be there actually.

somehow... this icky club is right now like super hot. there is a re-entry queue and it's almost as long as the bloody queue of pple waiting to pay to get in. i dun understand it at all. what's so great bout this club? and guess wat u even have to PAY to leave ur bag at the baggage counter. sheesh!

the place is so fucking huge and jam packed with idiots that it takes like at least 30mins every time u try to make ur way to the toilet at the far end of the club. and once inside the toilet, u feel like u're in gay land. i noe the guys would just lurve to be in there watching it all - there're fucking huge plushy red couches with floor to ceiling mirrors and all the drunk girls slouching around draped over each other and all over the place. and more queues just to get into the cubicle. sheesh!

so shrub very crever, she say outside got toilet near the carpark, let's skip these queues and go use that one! den i say but wat bout re-entry i scared we can't come in again cuz the bloody queue of pple waiting outside to get in is so bloody loooooooooongggg. shrub say neva mind let's give it a try.

so we all crever crever bualonglong strut out of the club and headed to the toilet near the carpark. bloddy hell reach there got another queue! and we thot we were so smart. nways, couz (henceforth to be known as Da Yeller - story to follow later), had a problem : she urgently needed to pee.

the solution? > the gents looked empty. we checked it, turned out it was really empty and hey there's a cubicle in there too! time and tide (literally) wait for no man, nor woman - in da yeller's case, so we told her to go in and use it first. she went in, saw the dirrrty state of the toilet, wrinkled her nose and came out, refusing to relieve herself in there, choosing instead to join the queue to the ladies. so shrub went in and i assumed sentry duty at the door to the gents in case anyone came along.

bloddy hell within secs, guys started coming to the toilet. first one came...

me: sorry u can't go in cuz my fren is inside. can u just wait awhile?
urgent guy #1:  *scratches his head* huh? oh ok. *waits for all of 3 secs den shuffles away looking for another toilet*

urgent guy #2: *heads straight for the gents*
me: sorry u can't go in now cuz my fren is inside. can u wait for a while?
urgent guy #2: huh? ok. *continues to walk towards the gents*
me: *putting out my hands to stop him* NO NO U CANNOT GO IN NOW MY FREN IS INSIDE! (now i've finally got his attention)
urgent guy #2: *stares at me stonily trying to comprehend what i said, den turns and leaves*

and bloddy hell guys also ah, go toilet also go in throngs. the above scenes repeat themselves another few more times till there is now a CONGREGATION of urgent guys standing before me. i now had to practically announce 

"GUYS I'M SORRY U ALL CAN'T GO IN NOW CUZ MY FREN IS INSIDE! JUST WAIT A FEW MORE MINS K?" and den attempt a lame smile in a bid to soothe their irritation at not being allowed into the men's room. it came to a point where the pathway was choked full of urgent guys and i couldn't even see the new ones coming. eventually, i heard one of the guys in the waiting crowd say to someone else who just arrived

"u can't use the toilet. someone's having a quickie in there"

wtf??? I was like rolling on the floor with laughter it was so farnee. i was gonna bang on the door and yell for shrub to pls hurry up and finish her biz in there lor. she was in there for so long that eventually, all the waiting guys dispersed and went in search of other toilets, so she was spared the trauma of having to face an audience of urgent pissed off guys.

oh wat a nite.

posted by: darkscarlette at July 23, 2005 11:14 | link | comments (1) |

: : denial : :

it really baffles me, how resilient the human spirit can be. That is a good thing u noe... BUT, it is not the same as when one chooses to live in disillusion.

how does one go on kidding urself about your own actions and even worse - the motives behind your actions? how do u go on pretending otherwise - when others oredi see right thru u? how do u convince urself to believe in your own lies?

u noe those situations when, u NOE that a person is lying... and he/she noes that u noe he/she's lying - but he/she insists on doing it, thus making himself/herself look like an absolute git. some pple think that so long as they feign innocence and keep repeating the same 'innocent' stand, pple will start to believe them.

take a rain check mate. it doesn't quite work that way.

u only succeed in painting a sad picture of urself. pple have brains u noe. pple have discerning capabilities u noe. pple do not just believe wholesale the lies u try to feed them u noe - if we did, we'd all be suckered in by the fantastic claims made on ads. no, pple dun function like that.

actions speak louder than words. pple have eyes to see.

it's kind of like trying to wipe away a drop of black ink on a piece of white paper. the harder u try to rub, the bigger the smear gets... no one else even has to lift a finger to help u make the stain worse.

if u've made a mistake, own up to it. and apologise. u might still be able to salvage some respect and self worth.

tearing up a photo doesn't erase the event photographed.

things tend to look huge when u're involved... but if u take a step back and look at it from the macro view, u'll realise that no one really gives a shit anymore... yesterday's news is good only for wrapping fish in. no one started a campaign against anyone... things just came to be becuz of something called karma - u reap what u sow. there's no one else to blame but urself for the deeds that u've done.

posted by: livingde8ddoll at July 20, 2005 15:58 | link | comments |

: : yum yum : :

i've met just a small handful of pple who have this effect on me - i could just stare mesmerised at them for hours - well not exactly at them really... it's usually a certain body part that gets my attention.

i'm talking bout EYES here for godssake.

i once met an indian girl who had quite the prettiest pair of eyes trimmed with lush curly lashes. i wanted to eat her eyes. and den there was this chinese guy who had the lightest natural brown eyes. i could drown in them. i kept staring cuz i was trying to make out whether he was wearing coloured contacts or not - the answer... they were au naturel. i get the same questions bout whether my eyes are a natural brown too - but i swear his are so many shades lighter than my deep chestnut ones. incredible. i think i wanna eat his eyes too.

posted by: darkscarlette at July 18, 2005 21:40 | link | comments (3) |

: : and so... : :

i watch excitedly as alphabet by alphabet, the words form into sentences on the computer screen. i crunch the numbers in my head and watch the dates roll out. i sign off just after the a couple of lines. it is a letter. short and sweet. there is no need for pleasantries.

i print it, fold it, and slot it into a plain white envelope. without further ado, i march into the old farter's office and shout, "take this and shove it up ur fat ass!" I watch as his oredi puffy, reddish face blossoms with rage and indignation. he glares at me, speechless. arms flailing like a wounded chicken. he opens his ugly mouth and splutters... but is unable to form coherent words.

i smirk. and i smirk again.

"I laugh in your general direction u sick old man!" and den i turn on my pretty heels and strut off towards the beautiful days of bumming before me. i am rid of this diseased place and the worm-rotted hearts of the pple who run it. Life is beautiful again.

The above account is the current version of what would constitute as a wet dream for me.

posted by: livingde8ddoll at July 11, 2005 14:54 | link | comments (5) |

: : walking away : :

He walked over, put a hand gently to the back of my head, den leaned in kissed my cheeks. "i luv ya" Quietly, slighty heady, he turned and walked away.

i've known him for close to a decade now. we've been thru a lot. too much, really. it's a love / hate relationship.

very soon, he will walk out of my life... of all our lives. he badly needs to sort his out. badly needs to. i hope when he comes back, if he does come back...

it wouldn't be in a box.

now that he's leaving, even though he's leaving all the shit behind him for us to clean up, even though he got everyone into shitloads of shit... he will be missed. ultimately when it comes to goodbyes... u tend not to remember the bad things... u think only of the good. leave the bad behind, bring the good. it would be good to bury the past and move forward. i wish him well.

posted by: darkscarlette at July 09, 2005 16:51 | link | comments (3) |

: : the fifth nail : :

"Small minded people are just what the song says, they think small thoughts. So what is a small thought? A small thought is any thought that fails to consider more than the thinkers own view point. Thus most small minded people fail to recognize their malady because they typically are complete oblivious to any view but their own, and even when they are aware that there are other views, they usually see these as opposing their own views and therefore are categorically disregarded as meaningless. "

~ Joseph Edward Duncan III

how true. bout small minded pple. living in their little worlds... in their little brains. and if u didn't noe... this convicted sex offender was recently nabbed on counts of child kidnapping and murder (he was caught with the little girl but police found the remains of her brother) and bludgeoning their mother and her boyfren to death.

they found his blog. and he speaks of being taken over by demons. he also speaks a lot about society and moral issues.

"As far as 'taking people with me,' well, I don't know if that is right or wrong," he wrote. "In fact, I don't know much any more what right and wrong even is."

it is quite something to enter the mind of someone like him. i ponder over some of the issues and arguments and viewpoints that he brings up... some sound dark and insane - yet others actually make sense to varying degrees. it disturbs me to think that i might actually find some of his rantings intriguing and deep... and would agree with some of the things he brings up... and am able to see the sardonic humour in some of his writings... if i didn't noe bout his inhuman crimes.

posted by: darkscarlette at July 08, 2005 09:01 | link | comments |

: : babes in pubs : :

now that our fav haunt is under reno, we suddenly find outselves at a loss when we wanna go someplace to chill and hang out at nite. wknds are especially hard cuz it's bloody crowded everywhere - and there's always a problem with so many of the other clubs... it's either ambience or the music or the crowd or the price or something or other that we dun like. boo.

so me and shrub were out pub hopping last nite, trying to settle on a place that we could at least tolerate hanging out in...

i think we strutted into like 4 clubs / bars... sat down, looked around us, looked at the menu, found one or more of the above-mentioned distastes... and strutted out again. haha. we suck. those waiters and bouncers must hate us. "look at those two bitches strutting in and out and turning up their pretty noses like as though they're too good for this place! like, we do they think they are! Pui!"

i have one word for them. well, actually, three... I DUN KEH!!

nways, it is common knowledge that babes out in town on their own (ie no male companions) always get all the perks. the waiters are extremly nice, offering u stupid advice like:

smitten waiter: can i take ur order?
babe 1: can i get a bottle of red wine pls?
smitten waiter: a whole bottle? umm... 2 glasses???
babe 1: (turns to babe 2) U wanna do wine together?
babe 2: nah... i feel like doing beer tonite... (to waiter) can i have a Stellar pls?
babe 1: (to waiter) okie she doesn't wanna do wine with me so i'll just do the wine myself so just get me 1 glass thx.
smitten waiter: .... one bottle??? umm why not let's start slow... why not have a stellar first, u can switch to GLASSES of wine later if u still feel like it... ok let's get u a stellar??
(after a few mins more of hesitation as the waiter annoyingly continues to insist the babes shd take it slow and start with stellar)
babe 1: *exasperatedly thinking why won't he just let me order what i want dammit* ok ok! give me a stellar k *rolls eyes*
smitten waiter: (pleased with himself) k 2 stellars comin up! but ermm... actually beer and wine shdn't mix - u get wasted very fast heh *sniggers and walks off to get the stellar*

ummm... har???? i wanna do wine and den he coaxes me to do beer and wine - and den he says but actually u shdn't mix beer and wine. i wanted to tell him to go fly a kite.

nways, the list of wonderful perks goes on! u need not worry even if the place is packed and crowded with pple standing around cuz all the tables are full. somehow, seats will magically appear! after the precursory lecherous stares u get upon entering a testosterone filled bar, some hot blooded male tables will always generously offer to share their tables. come closer my dear, all the beta to salivate all over u...

told ya it's awesome being a girl. really.

of cuz i'm not saying that we got lecherous stares. and i'm not saying we were offered a table to share. and i'm not saying we sat with hot young men. nor dried dirty old men. 

we buy our own drinks u noe.

posted by: livingde8ddoll at July 07, 2005 16:31 | link | comments |