~ UnDeR mY sKiN ~

to wax or not to wax... that is the question... www.mystiqc.blogspot.com

: : going down : :

why is it so hard to do what i shd? i dun understand it. sometimes i feel so alone. i noe no one can really help me... but i appreciate it when someone tries.

everyone has his own life to live.

that's something i've learnt many times over... yet still not quite got the hang of.


there're things i need to let go off. very very much so.


i dun mean to make anyone worry. i hate it when pple have sympathy for me. care and concern is one thing - sympathy is another.


i hung out with my fren today. we went tanning at the pool. and we had jack for company. it was wicked tho. and we talked. bout a lot of life's issues.


i used to like talking bout life.


not very much anymore.


since i realised that life has so much grey area. since i realised that there're no real answers sometimes. since i realised that talking is futile.


bcuz we're so close, me and my fren... we admitted things we normally wouldn't be proud of admitting.


i couldn't reveal the real issues i'm facing. but i admitted as much that i can't handle depression very well. and i'm scared. i hate to admit my weakness but the logical side of my brain says that i shd.


how do i self inflict without pple knowing? very rarely do i reach out for help. too rarely. too proud.

posted by: darkscarlette at September 30, 2005 02:11 | link | comments (1) |

: : the good man JACK : :

i have this overwhelming desire to pierce my left brow but i can't... i can't... cuz i noe if i do, i won't be able to go for interviews LOL dream on girlfren!!

i love my doggy monkeys! i love to cuddle up with them in bed cuz they keep me warm and they're so big they're like warm fuzzy bolsters it's SO nice i tell ya    i love my little gong gong Clover too but he stays with mummy all the time and is her baby now gee.

i didn't get to go clubbing last week, which damn near killed me ya. i got to dine on wine tho... yummy. wine is nice cuz wine dun make u fat (or at least i think... that's till someone comes and informs me otherwise) i love my jack but jack makes u fat - and i'm not one of those naturally skinny types so it's a constant battle at the gym fighting the pounds just so i can drown myself in that sweet brown liquid dammit.

but i will prevail! for my love of jack!!!

nways i'm gonna party this week, do or die. ok ok or at least i'll be getting my drink hehe. the thot of it gets me all excited! i think i'm beginning to sound desperate man. withdrawal symptoms of some sort. the shivers have yet to set in tho. i neeeed....

ooh oh! here comes mah qween! she's just dripping with jealousy and wants to go for a brownie session sometime this week too woohoo! cool chick that she is, she says

"hey i have some JACK! our good fren! no harm boozing a little in the afternoon rite?"

bwahahhahaha qween latifah is the coolest damn chick on earth!! gotta lurve her!!

posted by: darkscarlette at September 26, 2005 17:38 | link | comments |

: : every breath i take : :

heheheheheh today i went onto the weighing scale and after a while, realised i was holding my breath.


i dunno why i did that cuz, much as it gave me a slimmer looking silhouette while i was holding it all in - i sure couldn't bluff the weighing scale. i weighed the same hahahah k dat was just dumb.

posted by: livingde8ddoll at September 22, 2005 14:02 | link | comments (1) |

: : letting go : :

“It is really painful to say goodbye to someone else you don’t want to let go, but it is even more painful to ask someone to stay, if you can never make the relationship work out the way it should be. The way you should always be happy without having to beg for it.”

~ blackjetta



came across this on blackjetta's blog... it sure is a good shit piece of advice from her bro.

posted by: livingde8ddoll at September 20, 2005 10:27 | link | comments |

: : hilarious quote of the nite : :

"This is the first time I've seen a girl take advantage of a guy while he's drunk!"

~ shrub 160905

posted by: darkscarlette at September 19, 2005 08:30 | link | comments |

: : ladies & gentlemen... : :

IT'S MY LAST DAY HERE TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

i can't believe it's happening!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!! i'm gonna say it again becuz i like the way the sound of it rolls off my lips -

IT'S MY LAST DAYYYYYYYYYYYY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okok it's officially my last day but actually i've to come back tomoro to try and wrap up some unfinished TVC project that the old fart PURPOSELY dragged on in a bid to make me extend my time here. forget it, i ain't coming in the whole day tomoro. i'm just gonna pop in for a couple of hrs maybe and that shd be the last he sees of me. i hope.

kk i've got lots to do yet... my table still looks every bit as cluttered as it did last month ie i haven't packed my stuff. i've got another 2 sets of copy to churn out for a presentation and a press ad. i've to make a full handover list inclusive of media contacts etc and brief my colleagues for a proper handover. i have 4 hrs left of office time to do all that and den scram.

i beta get going. i beta. i beta.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S MY LAST DAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

did i oredi say that? hee.

posted by: darkscarlette at September 15, 2005 10:41 | link | comments |

: : with this grape i wed thee : :

who would've thot sept 11 would be such an auspicious day for chinese weddings?

as it turns out, there aren't many auspicious days in the month of august (according to the chinese calender) so many hotels and restaurants were packed yesterday for matrimonial celebrations.

my ex colleagues tied the knot during a luncheon. it was funny cuz the bride was such a shy woman, and we made her put a grape into one side of her hubby's pants-leg - so while the grape was inside his pants, she was supposed to somehow move it across his groin and take the grape out from the other pants-leg.

so the grape got stuck. somewhere in his crotch area. the grape reached his crotch and den it got LOST. yes, LOST. the bride lost her hold on the grape and it got lost somewhere in the groom's jungle down south.

hohoho

the poor groom's face was flushed as he tried to jiggle his groin, willing the grape to fall out on its own.

no such luck.

the bride ended up hugging him in a bid to shield prying eyes from seeing the groom's family gems as he unzipped his fly and struggled to dig out the evasive grape with his fingers.

after the luncheon, i rushed home to change and prepare for the next wedding dinner. i was to co-host it with the frontman of my fav band - dat would have been cool if not for the fact that i was supposed to host in CHINESE.

and u noe how chinese ain't exactly my forte. i can speak it alright - but presenting is a whole different matter.

so the whole nite, some idiot fren kept making fun of my chinese accent, exaggerating it way off of how i actually speak. he thot he was being so funny.

another fren saw my script (which happened to be totally devoid of chinese characters and consisted instead of english alphabets using hanyu pinyin) and burst out laughing. he said,

'how did u pass ur O' Levels Chinese Orals?!?!?'  AND HE MEANT IT.

excuse me ladies & gentlemen FYI pls i got a bloody B3 ok. a B3 grade is just one grade away from getting a distinction. dun see my chinese so down can.

my co-host wasn't much beta at giving me any help. i didn't realise that he could barely speak chinese, so when we started off the nite, he made his cursory 'Ladies & gentlemen will you pls be seated, the bride and groom will be arriving shortly.'

den we were fooling around and he picked up the mike and went 'ge wei guan zhong' and den i realised it was my turn to speak, and so instead of following my script which was 'ge wei lai bin' (lai bin = guests) i automatically repeated what he said which was 'ge wei guan zhong' (guan zhong = audience). duhhhhhhhhh.

 

i suck as a chinese host. but it was all good cuz at the end of the day we all had fun. and most imptly, i think most of the chinese speaking relatives could understand me despite the errors hehe.

posted by: darkscarlette at September 12, 2005 09:17 | link | comments |

: : discovery : :

sometimes (well, often times, actually), u think u noe someone and den u realise u dun, not really. u start off liking the person's company so u hang out more with the person and den slowly u get to noe him / her beta and u start to notice a lot of things.

u dun necessarily like those things.

like a cb mouth that cunningly starts propaganda when he / she has a personal vendetta against someone who offended him / her.

scary isn't it, pple like that.

i think it's important to be able to distinguish between who are your real frens and who aren't. there're many pple around who are good time frens, or users. they call u up when they need u, den cast u aside soon as their needs are met.

but the sad thing is, that there are also pple who allow themselves to be used like that.

i dunno why some pple choose to be so stubbornly stupid. oh well.


boy am i glad i have sistas. they're golden.

posted by: darkscarlette at September 10, 2005 10:42 | link | comments (2) |

: : soon : :

it's been so crazy esp at work. u'd think they'd let me off the hook since i'm oredi leaving but noooooo they're more like, trying to squeeze all they can out of me before i go. grrrr.

i haven't been posting as regularly as i should cuz my PC at work has some incompatibility problems with motime's editor... but i should be out of this hellhole in slightly less than 2 weeks time woohoo!

time does fly (sometimes)... feels like just yesterday when i threw in my resignation and laughed in the old fart's general direction, in reality it's been bout 5 weeks since.

so u see, less than 2 weeks from now, i'll wake up late and go tan by the pool downstairs and drink chilled margaritas and have my trusty lappy with me so i can tell everyone what a lovely time i'm having bumming while everyone is hard at work (or pretending to be) hehe.

posted by: livingde8ddoll at September 07, 2005 05:33 | link | comments (2) |

: : sshhhh hush hush!! : :

posted by: livingde8ddoll at September 05, 2005 05:26 | link | comments (4) |