~ UnDeR mY sKiN ~

to wax or not to wax... that is the question... www.mystiqc.blogspot.com

: : an old voice : :

"Happy Birthday 我心爱的妹妹!"

I hear from him only once a year... and it is only on this day. without fail, he neva forgets.

at 15, when everyone's immature and still going around having 'bros' and 'sisters', at 15, when i was going thru the most mischevious time of my life, getting caught in the middle of the nite by cops for smoking in my school uniform, getting so drunk becuz i didn't yet noe how to hold my booze, running away from home... he was there thru it all. he gave me dolls - dolls which would send me to seventh heaven, dolls which alas, i neva got to use! my gfs did however. how sad.

but den again, one of my gfs who did the dolls with him ended up pregnant with his kid har har. so yar, just as well i neva did them. but den again, he neva had a thing for me in that way. i tink. nways i was but 15 and naive and stupid rite so maybe my judgement at that point cannot be considered reliable.

funny how he still calls me 小妹. after all these years... feels odd, like some blast from the past. it's always good to hear from an old fren. brings warmth to the heart.

posted by: darkscarlette at October 21, 2005 14:50 | link | comments |

: : ain't that right : :

"I believe in having certain releases, certain outlets. One has to INDULGE. If you don't indulge, you don't live - might as well be dead. I believe in indulging as a user and not as an abuser. Everyone should make their own decisions and accept the consequences without complaining."

~ Grace Jones

she took the words right outta my mouth.

posted by: darkscarlette at October 20, 2005 12:05 | link | comments |

: : It's my party and i'll cry if i want to : :

our party came and went. it shd have been all good. but it was not. well, it waas all good till the end part...


there was easy banter during the bbq and it got beta as more sistas turned up. food was goooood! the sambal prawns were sooo tasty and the chicken wings were like, so burnt but i like em crispy u noe and the marshmellows were yummy tho i forget to bring along Hershey's choco syrup and i had a coupla burnt weiners but none of the succulent looking pork chops unfortunately.  the stingray was too dry and we had no more sambal chilli left so toooooo bad and oh, i had half a cob of corn hehe.


den our slot at the bbq pit was up so we all had to like, pack up and go back up, and den some left for THE concert i'd wanted so badly to go while the rest stayed on. us girl sistas went down to chill at the pool (brrr very cold!) while the boy sistas (all except for one - but well, that one wasn't technically a sista anyways so he didn't count) stayed upstairs glued to the idiot box.


somehow, it's always nice to chill by the pool... conversations are easy and relaxed... really nice to lay back and just, well, talk.


and talked, we did. well i did more listening than talking, but i enjoyed the session nonetheless. sistas bonding. got to noe one of the sistas a lil beta, and saw more of a side to her that the rest of us hadn't really seen. i guess cuz things started off on the wrong foot back then (when we  first came to noe her) so it took quite a while before we accepted her fully into the circle, but all that is water under the bridge and she has long since won our hearts with her devotion to our dearest boy. and i'm glad i've gotten to noe her beta as a person for she does have such steel in her character and i think that is something to be admired. not everyone can be that strong.


nways, later on we had a great dinner and oh i was whining on and on bout me and baba not having a bday cake (c'mon! everyone else had one when we celebrated their bdays y'noe!) and den qween and hairclap went and got us one!! yayyyyyyy


the farniest thing i can remember was hairclap laughing and saying


"this is the best we could *chuckle* come up with AT THIS TIME OF THE NITE *chuckle* and IN THIS AREA *chuckle*!"


i thot it was hilarious! i neva thot a silly bday cake could mean that much to me. baba was delighted too but prob not as much as me leh. i'm such a wuss!


den we decided as per usual practice to leave the cake to the last highlight of the nite - we'd do it just before we called it a nite much later. besides, we were expecting a couple more pple to come back after the concert and so after jokes were made bout the jeep and Toy Boy on the cake, we stuffed it into the fridge for later.


u noe that "Ultimate Drinking Games" thing that i bought??? my god u gotta be kidding if u're thinking of playing that when u're wasted! it's bloody IMPOSSIBLE!!


someone kept going "ey pass me that ping pong ball let's just throw it and whoever that ping pong ball lands on will drink hahahahha"


yar that person was ME. hehe!


half the time we were struggling to understand the rules and how the games shd be played, and our brains were oredi half-fucked and it was oh so NOT gonna happen - brain cannot think oredi.


Qween wanted to be "Mi Lady" and Hairclap wanted to be "My Lord" (fat hope!). both also cannot make it!


in the end i think we only played non-thinking games that required us to mix stuff and down em... and den another which revealed quite a few of our more... intimate exploits hahahahah my sistas are such bloody voyeurs ballz.


now we noe who likes to be licked where and touched where and who's done the horizontal tango where besides the bed and oh STOP IT OREDI!! too much information HAHAHHAHAHAHA.


PERVs!!


oh well, the party was kickass till the last last part when i ruined it for myself cuz i got so terribly upset over something very thotless that someone else did, and i went and shut myself off in the room and broke down and den i didn't wanna go out while my face was red and all and finally after a long time, my sistas decided to leave and gimme time to cool off on my own.


but that's not to say they didn't care. on the contrary, i was the one who shut my damn self off like a bloody hermit. stupid me. i usually dun, but, i dunno why i did that that nite... just had too much on my shoulders to handle i guess.


i felt so damn bad the party ended that way cuz, well, it wasn't just MY bday alone - it was baba's too, and she shd have enjoyed it thoroughly till the end. i feel like she got cheated of her cake cutting - u noe she actually asked me to bring her a slice of the cake the next day when we were supposed to go gymming? but she cancelled again last min or else i'd have brought her the whole cake man!


nways her actual bday ain't till this week... i'll find some way to make it up to her. i gots to!


the rest of the sistas... i felt so bad too... i'm glad they were understanding. their love and msgs poured in that nite and the next day - i want to say...


I HAVE NEVA FELT SO MUCH COLLECTIVE LOVE IN MY LIFE!!


".... ..... just remember we love you! ..."


" .... ..... we'll all be there if and when u need us, if u just need a listening ear, m just a call away :) .... ..."


" .... .... .... u've sistas who care a lot for u! remember tat! :) "


" .... take care okay.... love ya... "


and many more msgs the next day too... the rest of the stuff i would like to keep close to my heart cuz they're more personal and i think it would be kinda rude to shout it out here heh.


there was one msg from one of my sistas in particular, which touched me deeply. perhaps it's cuz i've been thru quite a few groups of shitty 'frens' and not too long ago, been burnt once again by pple i now realised i didn't really noe more than on a superficial level simply cuz we all used to hang out and drink together. that experience made me take a good hard look at all the pple in that group and i realised how ugly and malicious they were inside... and make me rethink what the word 'friendship' really means.


it made me appreciate what i have with my sistas all the more - cuz i realised that not everyone's so lucky to share the type of bond we have. to be frank, we dun see each other like, all the time (altough a few of us are closer in the group but that's only natural cuz some of us have known each other for ages and get together more often than with the rest) but when it comes to the impt occasions that count - birthdays.. Xmas.. celebrating jobs being quit... too long neva meet so we just feel like getting together for a good dose of WICKED... hell, even halloween! we're always together.


so when i got this msg, it held so much meaning for me. part of it goes...


" ..... .... we are not some superficial friday night drinking pals you just met over the weekend. We are your sistas ok! And we love ya no matter what"


damn but that left me speechless. so simply put but with so much meaning behind those words. i love these guys to bits. really.

posted by: darkscarlette at October 18, 2005 16:54 | link | comments (2) |

: : it's been ages : :

i just saw the date of my last entry... it was LAST MONTH! omfg how did time fly so fast man?!? i noe i've been neglecting this place but i really didn't realise it's been that long... wow... i am so lazyyyyyyy!!!

since i'm supposed to be bumming, i thot i'd have a lot of time... well i guess i do... but it's as though i've something to do everyday, pple to meet places to go things to do... next thing i noe, i think i've like, only 2 more weeks till i go back to the grind again and i thot ok now i can relax and den suddenly i get a call from a local women's mag to freelance and cover the relaunch of a top super poseurshit club and suddenly i'm like working from my lappy again and wondering what happened to the time i'm supposed to spend JUST BUMMING dammit.

hmm... i'm kinda relishing it too tho... working from home's really nice... own time own target... would be nice if i could do this a looonnnggg time more hehe but nah. no such luck!

nways, the one thing that's frustrating me to hell is the fact that, NOW that i have the chance to finally pierce my eyebrow... everyone i ask for an opinion says NOOOOOOOO DUN DO IT ARE U CRAZYYYY?!??! even couzzie goes NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOO pls dun do it!!! one fren just went quiet, stared at me incredulously for ages, den with a quiet shake of the head: NO.

man what's wrong with these guys? i think it's so cool but they think otherwise. the ultimate: the man says he won't wanna kiss me anymore if he sees the piercing in my brow. aw man that's gotta be so below the belt!! dammit.

C'mon pple Amy from Evanescence has one and so does Fergie the Pea! i waaaaaannnnnntttt one toooooooooooooo *major sulk*

posted by: darkscarlette at October 14, 2005 12:12 | link | comments (5) |